We often talk about homework as a fact of life and child abuse as a scourge
to be excised. But what about homework when the child gets hurt? That is, hurt
by homework. Is that child abuse?
In my clinical practice, I've seen child protection authorities get
involved when parents put their children at harm. Obviously, parents are
imperfect and harm is relative, so how much and what type of harm is abuse?
If I beat my kid, would that be abuse? If I spanked my child, what about
that? What if I spanked my child regularly? What if I did it out of anger? What
if I did it as a measured form of discipline, directly related to bad behavior?
What if I did it in a measured way for behavior I thought was bad but was, in
reality, outside my child's control? What if I put him in the corner when he
did something wrong? For ten minutes? For an hour? For three? Sitting in a
chair? Standing there? Standing on one foot? What if my child was
wheelchair-bound and I made him get up and walk up the stairs? At the
recommendation of the physical therapist? Because I thought he could? Once a
day? Every time?
Now let's alter the scene. Instead of a wheelchair, let's say your child
has terrible handwriting, handwriting so bad it can hardly be read. Let's say
your child has trouble sitting still and has a need to keep getting up and
down. Let's say your child reads slowly. Let's say it takes your child twice as
long as the average child to get the homework done.
The experts recommend ten minute per night per grade. So suppose it
takes your first grade child twenty minutes to do the work, your second grade
child twenty, your sixth grade child one twenty, and so forth. And for his
effort, there are frequent battles, low grades (even if he does half the work),
after school and weekend detentions. Is that abuse? Is that much different from
making your wheelchair bound child bypass the ramp and pull himself up the
stairs?
The wheelchair example actually follows a true conversation between me
and my homework trapped child's middle school principal. In seventh grade, he
was placed in a special program that left him in regular classes but afforded
him a small social studies class where he and a few kids could work with a
teacher. The result was excellent. First, the special class meant less social
studies homework, without reducing homework in reading, science, or math.
Second, the class came at the end of the day so the social studies teacher
could be mindful of assignments that had come earlier in the day. The teacher
would balance the need for the social studies lesson against the value of
giving the students extra time to get their assignments done. This small
adaptation cost him some of his social studies curriculum but led to large
results in his learning, grades, and overall self-esteem.
*****
Dr. Kenneth Goldberg, is the author of The Homework Trap: How to Save the Sanity of Parents, Teachers, and Students, published by Wyndmoor Press.
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